Every Character I've Ever Played: Part 2

Welcome back! In part 1 I wrote about every character I’d played up to that point. Part 2 will be updated whenever I play a new character, which isn’t very often so don’t sit there refreshing the page every five minutes, okay? Okay? Let’s go!

Samuel Järv

System: Vaesen
Played: November 18, 2023
Sessions: 1
Status: game canceled

That’s pronounced something like Yeah-rv. Means wolverine in Swedish. This guy was a Sherlock Holmes-like dude who, like all player characters in Vaesen, had the special ability to see magical creatures. Notably, he had once seen a werewolf and now carried around a revolved with silver bullets at all times. After the first session, in which we created characters and received a brief introduction, the game master canceled the game and took a break from playing for personal reasons. Guess that’s just my luck after not having played for almost a year. Oh well, maybe we’ll pick it up again someday. Or not.

Montgomery Swiftfeather

System: D&D 5e
Played: January 13, 2024 to March 16, 2024
Sessions: 9
Status: deceased alive in an alternate universe

Finally getting to play some of that good ol’ D&D again, I rolled up an owlin ranger named Montgomery Swiftfeather, or Monty Swift, if you will. He was about five feet tall and looked like a humanoid barn owl, wings and all, dressed in a blue mailman uniform, hat and all. He was the royal courier at the Western Heartlands Postal Service, or WHPS, pronounced “whoops” by everyone except Monty, who took his job very seriously and insisted that every letter should be pronounced individually.

Mechanically he was a gloom stalker ranger with the Tasha variant features and the mobile feat. The basic concept was to make a mail owl like in Harry Potter, so the mechanics were an afterthought—I picked whatever seemed the most appropriate for an owl. He was fast, silent, and had 150 feet of darkvision.

He was my character in the Veil of Whispers campaign, joining a gang of morally bankrupt murderhobos on a quest to rescue a kidnapped princess. I had planned to play him as a naive goody-two-shoes, but had to abandon that idea pretty quickly to fit in. He was a lot of fun but unfortunately met his untimely demise against a beholder after a series of near-impossibly bad rolls. All I needed was a seven or more, and Monty would’ve been saved. We were all baffled when I failed to do so—six times in a row. I would’ve been more upset about it if it hadn’t been so unlikely. It was as if the dice gods put their feet down and said “Absolutely not.” At the end of the day, we are all at the mercy of the dice.

When I ran The Astral Scroll, Montgomery showed up one session in an interdimensional tavern. This was Montgomery from before the events of Veil of Whispers, and what happened there made him not want to become an adventurer anymore. I made sure to ask the DM of Veil of Whispers if he was okay with me undoing the whole thing with multiversal time travel shenanigans, which he thought was a hilarious idea.

I like to imagine that after that retcon, Montgomery became a famous Red Bull Owl Race® contestant instead of an adventurer.

Caeus Ashbone

System: D&D 5e
Played: March 23, 2024 to April 21, 2024
Sessions: 3
Status: deceased alive in an alternate universe

After the party wiped in Veil of Whispers, we made new characters to pick up the quest twenty years later. Enter Caeus Ashbone, a half-elf who peaked in college when he was on the chariot racing team, after which he accomplished very little until the army of skeletons appeared. Turns out he had a knack for killing those bony bastards. I based him on Ash Williams from Evil Dead, specifically the older one from Ash vs Evil Dead who is no longer as cool as he thinks he is.

He was a champion fighter who used his grandfather’s Oathbow which, when combined with several feats, did an awful lot of burst damage to bosses.

After the whole party practically got one-shot by a dragon’s breath attack, he and the other surviving character woke up in prison. They both died unceremoniously trying to escape.